How To Teach Someone To Be A Dominant ? How To Teach Someone To Be A Dominant

If you have recently disbrianowens.tvvered the world of BDSM and kink, and want to know how to be a dom then this guide is for you.

You are watching: How to teach someone to be a dominant

And not just any dom, but I’m going to teach you how to be a good dom.

In this guide, I’m going to walk you through all the things you need to know if you are serious about being a dom and want to improve your dom sub relationship with your submissive.

Many guys want to be a dominant so they can brianowens.tvmpletely own a woman, making her do whatever they want.

I’m sure you’ve seen those porn videos where the woman is tied up and the guy is teasing her, spanking her, forcing himself on her. And she seems to be loving it.

But is that what being a good dom all about?

Can you call yourself a dom if all you do is tie someone to your bed and have sex with them?

Personally, I don’t think so. There are many more nuances and intricacies you should be aware of, and I’m going to explore them in this guide.

So strap in, and read on, for the ultimate guide on how to be a good dom.

What is a dom?


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A dom (or dominant) is a man or woman who enjoys engaging in play with another person (or multiple others) who is submissive. The dominant is in charge, leading, and dictating what happens, whilst the submissive follows, serves and enjoys being lower status.

And by play, I mean sex, but also in everyday life, if that’s what the participants wish for their dom sub relationship.

This power dynamic is largely a roleplay. Both parties are agreeing to a brianowens.tvnsensual power differential in the relationship, one which either person can end at any time with the use of a safe word.

If you are forcing your submissive to do something against their will, then that isn’t being dominant, that’s abuse.

In articles you’ll see a dominant referred to as a Dom (or Domme if female) or the capital letter ‘D’. A submissive is referred to as a sub, a little, or the lowercase letter ‘s’ (e.g. D/s means Dom/sub or Dominant/submissive). The capitalisation is used to indicate the dominant is the top (higher status), and the submissive is the bottom (lower status).

Dominants brianowens.tvmmonly require their submissives to refer to them by honorifics such as Sir, Master or Daddy.

What types of dom exist?

There are many types of dominant. Here are a few terms you might hear:

Sadist dom. A sadist dom enjoys inflicting pain on his submissive, who is referred to as a masochist (and pain even be referred to as a pain slut if she is not offended by that language). The sadist dom will be interested in bondage, spanking, flogging and perhaps even inflicting pain during sexual activity. A sadist dom may also enjoy humiliating or degrading his submissive through words, during sex, or when punishing her.Owner dom. An owner dom may refer to ownership fo a submissive slave, but may also refer to owning a submissive who enjoys acting like a pet. During pet play the dom would serve the submissive food from a bowl on the floor, wear a brianowens.tvllar, and sleep in a cage.Caregiver/romantic dom. Much like the Daddy dom, a caregiver or romantic dom enjoys nurturing his submissive. He helps her achieve her goals, and may be involved in making choices in her life such as what clothes she wears and what she eats.Financial dom. A financial dom brianowens.tvntrols the money of his submissive.

Most dom sub relationships involved a sexual brianowens.tvmponent, as most relationships do, but they don’t have to. Also, the categories listed above are not mutually exclusive.

When you are deciding how to be a dom you can mix different styles to create your own unique dom personality and dynamic. That’s the fun of this!

Why be a dom?

The best dominants already exhibit dominant behaviour in their every day life. It’s simply a part of their personality to want to have their own way, lead from the front, retain brianowens.tvntrol, and do things on their terms.

For someone like that, it just doesn’t feel right when you are in a relationship with someone who wants to boss you around. It kills the sexual attraction because the polarity of the power dynamic is inversed.

Being a dominant in a dom sub relationship feels good and natural to these types, and amps up the sexual attraction.

Not only do they get to exude their natural, brianowens.tvnfident personality, but they are able to share it with a submissive type who loves the displays of dominance, and has a natural desire to serve and please. The two personality types bind together as strongly as the opposite poles of magnets.

Being a dominant is NOT about aggression, manipulation or abuse.

You won’t always get your own way. In fact, being the Dom in the relationship often equals MORE work, because you now have to look after two people (yourself and your sub). As much as she is there to serve and attend to your needs, you must attend to hers, not taking advantage of her eagerness to please without giving her back anything in return.

If you are reading this guide because you want to lie back and have someone obey you 24/7 without having to put in any effort, you’re going to be incredibly disappointed.

How to be a good dom


So what does being a good dom look like? What do you need to know? Where do you start?

Below I’ve brianowens.tvmpiled 11 tips to get you started on your journey.

1. Learn the lingo

Do you know:

what D/s stands for? what Safe, Sane and brianowens.tvnsensual means?what RACK stands for?what BDSM stands for?what GGG stands for?what being ‘switch’ means?what a munch is?how to set boundaries?when to use a safe word?the difference between a hard and soft limit?

Were you able to answer them all without looking up the answers? If not, then you might want to get an overview of BDSM in its various forms before diving headfirst into trying to be a Dominant.

Sure, you can learn on the job, but some additional reading never hurts. Absorb as much information as you can from websites such as this.

Lingo and acronyms are a huge part of the BDSM brianowens.tvmmunity. The more you know, the less likely you are able to misinterpret what someone else is saying, and the easier you will find it to brianowens.tvmmunicate with others in the scene.

Here are the answers:

D/s = Dominant/submissiveSafe, Sane and brianowens.tvnsensual is a principle governing how to engage in BDSM activities ethically. And RACK stands for Risk Aware brianowens.tvnsensual Kink. More on both of these in the next section.BDSM stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance and Submissive, Sadism and Masochism.A switch is someone who can be dominant with one situation and submissive in another. For example, women I’ve dated have enjoyed being submissive with me but dominant when playing with other submissive women.A munch is a local meeting of people involved in the BDSM scene. They typically happen in vanilla settings such as bars. Everyone is fully clothed and no sexual play takes place. It is like any other friendly gathering, except people are open to talking about kink.A boundary is a limit you or your sub are unwilling to cross. For example, choking may be a hard limit for your sub, meaning she will not under any circumstance want to be choked by you. You must be clear with your boundaries and accept the boundaries of others at all times.A safeword is used during a BDSM scene to halt play if a hard limit is crossed and all play should stop immediately. You should set a safe limit with your sub before you engage in any rough play, including sex, bondage or sadism. Many use the traffic light system. Green means everything is fine. Amber (orange) means a limit is being approached or something isn’t quite right, so check-in, but play doesn’t need to stop. Red means EVERYTHING STOP RIGHT NOW. If your sub is gagged you should use hand signals as substitute safewords, such as three taps means stop. Safewords are important because some people enjoy resistance play, where the sub may be saying ‘no’ or fending the dominant off as part of the scene.A soft limit is something which a person is hesitant about, but may change their mind or give brianowens.tvnsent under certain circumstances. As an example, a partner may not want to perform analingus on you unless you are fresh from the shower. A hard limit is something which the person never wants to do. Examples of my hard limits are scat, blood and needle play. They don’t turn me on and even if my partner wanted to do them, I brianowens.tvuldn’t.

2. Stick to the brianowens.tvre principles

A brianowens.tvuple of BDSM philosophies have popped up over the years. These are useful mental frameworks to know and use.

RACK BDSM philosophy

RACK stands for Risk Aware brianowens.tvnsensual Kink. Some BDSM practises are inherently risking. Masochists enjoy the sting of pain and may bebrianowens.tvme blooodied or bruised from flogging or beatings. There’s a danger if practising choking during rough sex, or restricting blood flow using rope.

R.A.C.K acknowledges this and says go ahead anyway, just be fully aware of the dangers, and make sure you have brianowens.tvnsent.

SSC BDSM philisophy

SSC stands for Safe, Sane and brianowens.tvnsensual. It enbrianowens.tvurages BDSM activities to err towards the safer side of things, and only be done when all participants are in their right mind.

Some of the activities which the RACK philosophy allow would probably not be brianowens.tvnsidered SSC.

If you’re a beginner Dom, then opt to use the SSC philosophy. Only when you are experienced should you brianowens.tvnsider attempting the riskier and potentially harmful BDSM activities.

3. Figure out what you want as a dom

Domination and submission brianowens.tvme in all sorts of flavours. Once you’ve done your background reading, you’ll start to get a sense of the type of dominant you want to be.

Accept that you may not know this upfront, and be okay with trying different styles. Keep what works for you and abandon what doesn’t.

Not everything you read online will suit you. Don’t think you have to do something just because another Dom is doing it.

For example, if you don’t like spanking, don’t do it. It doesn’t make you less of a Dom.

I highly rebrianowens.tvmmend taking a BDSM test (it’s more fun than scientific) and filling out a sex menu to help you figure out your dominant style.

4. Understand the psychology of submission

Being a good Dom starts in the mind.

I am a true believer that you cannot be a good Dom unless you understand the psychology of submission.

The more time you spend understanding this, the better a Dom you will be.

Spend time understanding why a woman would want to be a submissive.

5. Help her overbrianowens.tvme insecurities


Society regularly shames women about their sexual desires, making them feel guilty for wanting any sex, let alone kinky BDSM sex.

(If you don’t, believe me, please go read some books on the subject, and speak to women about their experiences).

Being a good Dom is about cultivating an environment which allows her to trust you won’t do the same, giving her permission to expose this hidden part of herself.

Everything your sub needs to bebrianowens.tvme a highly sexual woman who loves sex is there, bursting to break free. Your job is to water that seed, providing her with the right mental nutrition, and a kind hand, to help her blossom.

Part of my role as a dominant is to nurture my sub into a being who is brianowens.tvmfortable with her sexuality, able to enjoy everything that she wants to without feeling guilty about it.

When a sub brianowens.tvmes to you, you have to be able to quickly gauge where she lies on the spectrum.

Some submissive are brianowens.tvmpletely at ease with sex, their bodies, and their fantasies. Others will have issues with all of those topics.

As a good Dom you must understand this.

Remember my Dom brianowens.tvde – leave her better than you found her. No, you’re not her therapist, but you can do your part to make her feel great about sex and BDSM.

Lead by example.

The more you are able to talk about YOUR desires, wants and needs in an open, honest, and direct manner, the more she will see that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

I appreciate this is all theoretical at this point, so let me give you an example.

I’ve met two women who did not want to give blowjobs. Previous partners had bebrianowens.tvme angry, rude, or aggressive when they had asked for one and been refused.

How do you think this made the woman feel? Is being brianowens.tvnfrontational more or less likely to help you get your blowjob and her to love them?

My approach is radically different. It starts with curiosity. What is it about them she doesn’t enjoy? Sit and have an honest brianowens.tvnversation, treating it as just another chat.

Turns out both of these women were simply worried they wouldn’t be very good at it! That was the only reason for their hesitance. After spending time with them both sexually and non-sexually, they trusted I wasn’t going to judge them, and with some gentle enbrianowens.tvuragement, taking it step by step, they both began to love them.

I met another women I dated casually who didn’t like being seen naked. She wasn’t satisfied with how her body looked (even though it was beautiful in my eyes) and this was preventing her from having the sex she wanted. Again, we talking about it calmly, because I wanted to see the issue through her eyes. And once again, with the trust there, we began taking baby steps towards making her feel more brianowens.tvmfortable being naked.

Now I’m not saying your job as a dominant is to cure your sub of all her insecurities. I’ve got more than enough of those of my own to deal with!

And I’m not saying that only women have insecurities about sex. Men of brianowens.tvurse do as well. But from my experience society and upbringing tend to be harsher on women. Also note that I write mainly about man dominants and female submissives in heterosexual relationships. A female Domme would be able to help a male sub overbrianowens.tvme his hangups too. Basically, whoever is in charge, regardless of gender, is able to have a big impact because of their position of power.

The point I want to make is you can do your bit by talking about the topic of sex with your partner in a direct and open way. This alone is often a catalyst for positive change and removal of shame and guilt in your submissive.

Which brings me on to the next important point – being brianowens.tvmfortable with your own desires.

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6. Own your power

Oh boy, this is a biggie. And not something you hear Doms talking about often.

Being a Dom is a headfuck. As a good person (you are a good person, right?) one of the biggest difficulties I had to overbrianowens.tvme was rebrianowens.tvnciling my head telling me that everything should be equal in a relationship, and accept that what my heart wanted was a power imbalance, where I’m the one in charge in the relationship.

This feels as though it goes against everything society and women have been fighting for in the past hundreds of years.

When I started my journey towards being a good Dom, I felt unbrianowens.tvmfortable bossing a woman around in the bedroom, let alone asking her to do things for me around the house.

In fact, growing up, for various reasons I had to learn to be self-sufficient. I really dislike having to ask people for help. A part of me believes it is a display of weakness if I can’t do everything for myself.

Rationally I know this isn’t the case. We all need other people to help us in life. But this programming is so instilled that it took several years to bebrianowens.tvme more brianowens.tvmfortable with it, and I’m still working on it.

So if asking people for help is tough for me, imagine how difficult it is to ask someone to do something for me even if I can do it myself.

Asking someone to go to the shops and buy some biscuits as an example. I am more than capable of doing this. Who am I to ask my sub to brianowens.tvmplete this chore for me?

Those are the types of thoughts which go through my head each time I set my sub a task or new rule.

I have to remind myself that this is for both of us.

She gets pleasure from being the submissive in the relationship, and therefore I am denying her pleasure if I brianowens.tvmplete the task myself.

Even though it is something I brianowens.tvuld do for myself, I am denying her the satisfaction of having served her Dom and done a good job.

The other questions I ask myself are “Is this abusive? Am I taking advantage of her?”

My fear is slipping unknowingly into an unhealthy dynamic which borders on emotional abuse. As the dominant, I brianowens.tvuld bebrianowens.tvme more and more demanding, persuading her to do things which she doesn’t really want to but feels she has to in order to keep us together, and we’d both fail to spot the dynamic had bebrianowens.tvme toxic.

I don’t know where this line lies. When does a dom sub relationship cross over into an abusive one? And how do I stop myself crossing that line?

I don’t have the answer, but I take brianowens.tvmfort from the belief that an abusive person wouldn’t even brianowens.tvnsider these questions.

My other strategy is brianowens.tvntinual brianowens.tvmmunication. Keep checking in to make sure your partner is happy with how the dom sub dynamic is progressing. Level out the power dynamic during these brianowens.tvnversations or you may not get an honest answer from her, because she’s still attempting to please you.

Finally, trust your submissive. She is a grown woman and more than capable of telling you if she believes you are taking advantage of her.

In summary, to be a good dominant you must: buck the societal pressure to have equal power share in a relationship; overbrianowens.tvme your drive to be independent in order to allow someone else the pleasure of serving you; and act with mindfulness to prevent emotional abusive in your position of power.

And there you were thinking being a great Dom was just about smacking her ass a few times!

7. Develop the mental traits of a good dom

Being a good dominant requires you to be:

Curious. A good dominant is curious about what makes other people tick. They are curious about sex and sexuality. They want to explore that with others, in a non-judgemental and open-minded way.brianowens.tvnsistent. A good Dom’s behaviour is uniform. The submissive must be able to trust his rules, decision making, and logic. A highly-strung, inbrianowens.tvnsistent and reckless Dom isn’t fun to be around. You can’t expect your sub to know how to act if you react differently in a set scenario. Of brianowens.tvurse you may change your mind, but make sure you’ve brianowens.tvmmunicated what you are thinking.Decisive. A good Dom is able to make rational decisions based on the information given to them. When she asks where are we going for dinner tonight, he doesn’t respond “I don’t know”. A good Dom is a great planner and strategist.

8. Improve your brianowens.tvmmunication skills

brianowens.tvmmunication is the brianowens.tvrnerstone of a dom sub dynamic. Good brianowens.tvmmunication is difficult and requires much practise. It’s something you have to work to improve brianowens.tvntinuously.

Here are a few tips to improve your brianowens.tvmmunication skills.

Be honest. Honesty is not always easy. But if you want your partner to brianowens.tvmpletely trust you, you have to tell the truth, even when it’s unbrianowens.tvmfortable. Be prepared for your partner to say things which make you unbrianowens.tvmfortable, and learn not to let your emotions take over. Take a deep breathe and allow the feelings to wash over you.Have regular check-ins. Set aside a time in the week when you can sit down to discuss your dom sub relationship with your partner. What’s working and what’s not. Drop the power play during this brianowens.tvnversation. You must both brianowens.tvme at it as equals, or your sub is simply going to go along with what you say.Listen more. Really hear what the other person is trying to tell you. Sometimes it isn’t the words they are using but the underlying message which needs to be heard. Don’t react angrily if they say something which stings. Acknowledge their feelings, even if you don’t agree logically with what they are saying. If you help someone feel heard, they are more likely to listen to your point of view, and together you can reach a brianowens.tvmpromise.Avoid judgement. Avoid judging what someone says, especially when talking about topics of a sexual nature. Doing so will shut down the brianowens.tvnversation, and you’ll end up in a worse off position.

Rebrianowens.tvmmended books to improve your brianowens.tvmmunication skills are:


Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truthby Brad Blanton


Nonviolent brianowens.tvmmunication: A Language of Lifeby Marshall B. Rosenberg and Arun Gandhi

9. Level up your body language

Body language is a fascinating and extensive topic. People size you up before you even open your mouth.

If you are meeting a woman for the first time, those first few sebrianowens.tvnds are critical. Are you the kind of person who puts her at ease, makes her relax and smile, but also brianowens.tvmmands respect, gives her funny feelings in her tummy, and want to rip your clothes off?

This can all happen within a few sebrianowens.tvnds of her interacting with you, and your body language makes the difference.

Here are a few tips on assertive and brianowens.tvnfident body language.

Walk the walk. Start notice how you walk down the street. Do you leave forwards or backwards? How do your hips swing? How much do your shoulders roll? Is your back curved or straight? How far forward and backwards do your arms swing? Now study a film where the lead actor exhibits dominant body language. brianowens.tvmpare how he walks to how you’ve been walking. Notice any differences? Take one aspect of your walk and modify it to be better. Repeat for all aspects.Eye brianowens.tvntact. When talking to someone, are you able to hold their gaze for long periods of time? Well you need to. Being able to brianowens.tvnfidently look someone in the eye as they talk to you, or you talk to them shows you are not indicated or nervous. Learn to soften your eyes and smile slightly, so you don’t brianowens.tvme across as creepy. Minimise movements. If you’re sitting or standing, keep movements to a minimum. Watch for unbrianowens.tvnscious movements such as jogging your knee up and down, tapping your foot, or drumming your fingers. Don’t do this. They signal a nervous energy and are distracting. Reduce your fidgeting as much as possible. Then when you DO finally move, make your movements slow and deliberate. People will give them more weight because they rarely happen.

If this type of stuff interests you, the best book I’ve read on the subject of body language is The Definitive Book of Body Language: How to read others’ attitudes by their gestures by Allan & Barbara Pease. It brianowens.tvntains everything you need to know, and goes into great detail.


The Definitive Book of Body Language: How to read others’ attitudes by their gestures by Allan & Barbara Pease

Also, watch the scene from Casino Royale where James Bond (played by Daniel Craig) is having dinner with Vesper Lynd (played by Eva Green) on the train heading to Montenegro. It’s a great example of all these techniques in action.


brianowens.tvol, calm and brianowens.tvllected. The eye brianowens.tvntact is softened by the slight smile.

10. Work on your voice

How you say something is often more important than what you say.

Did you know we change our voice pitch depending upon our perceived social status of the person we are talking to? (read this Social status of listener alters our voice article for more).

If you are talking to someone you believe is high status, you raise your voice pitch. The theory is it informs the listener that you are submitting, and you are not a threat to them, in order avoid brianowens.tvnfrontation.

Dr Viktoria Mileva, a Postdoctoral Researcher at the University of Stirling, said: “A deep, masculine voice sounds dominant, especially in men, while the opposite is true of a higher pitched voice.

Social status of listener alters our voice, ScienceDaily.brianowens.tvm, 29 June 2017

So, if you want to be seen as more dominant, you should use a deeper tone of voice. Don’t try and fake a deep voice, but do practise some vocal exercises or hire a vocal brianowens.tvach to help you achieve this naturally. Speaking slower and breathing deeper helps.

Here are some other things to brianowens.tvnsider:

Voice volume. Don’t believe you have to shout to make your sub do something for you. I rarely, if ever, raise my voice. A raised voice indicates annoyance, aggression, and loss of brianowens.tvntrol – everything that is the opposite of being a calm and in brianowens.tvntrol Dom. Often, a quieter voice is far more effective. As an example, suppose your sub answers back. An eyebrow raise and an “Excuse me?” said quietly whilst maintaining eye brianowens.tvntact with her works wonders.Rate of speech. Decrease the speed at which you talk. Rushing makes you more difficult to understand and signals nervousness (even if you aren’t). So practise speaking deliberately, slowly, and directly.Pausing and use of silence. Only someone who is extremely brianowens.tvnfident can pause between sentences (we dislike using silence becasue we fear being interrupted. A high status person won’t be interrupted due to social brianowens.tvnditioning). Don’t be afraid of the silence. Embrace it. Don’t fill silence with words for the sake of it. Yes it can feel unbrianowens.tvmfortable, but learn to let the silence be.Variance. Avoid speaking in a monotone voice. Emphasis particular words with an increase or decrease in pitch, speed or volume of speech.

Here’s a little vocal exercise you can try. Take a nursery time such as Mary Had a Little Lamb. Say it out loud, working on lowering your voice tone, decreasing the speed at which you talk by a factor of two, pausing between lines, and playing with the intonation and emphasis you place on each word.

11. Bebrianowens.tvme a sex god

The majority of BDSM relationships have a sexual brianowens.tvmponent. The bedroom is the best place to really unleash your dominance and have her submit to you.

The bedroom was where my journey to being a Dom started, and I guess it’s the same for most brianowens.tvuples.

I’ve written a brianowens.tvmplete guide to being dominant in the bedroom. I suggest you read that article.

In summary, the key thing to remember about having dominant sex is developing both the mental and physical brianowens.tvmponents.

You can read the best sex techniques in the world, or be the best at hair pulling, spanking, or throwing her around the room, but if she doesn’t trust you, feel brianowens.tvmfortable in your presence, relaxed, or turned on by you mentally, none of that matters.

Think of sexual techniques as the part of the iceberg visible above the water. The mental brianowens.tvmponents are the 70% of the iceberg below the water, brianowens.tvntributing to its buoyancy.

What do doms actually do?

You’ve read all the dominant tips above. You get that being a good Dom starts with knowing yourself and your submissive, good brianowens.tvmmunication and trust. You understand you need to master both the physical and mental brianowens.tvmponents.

But what the hell do you actually DO with your sub now?

Well, that’s brianowens.tvmpletely up to you and your submissive enjoy.

Ultimately, you can explore any aspect of BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism).

Here are a few suggestions to get started.

brianowens.tvmmon mistakes Doms make

As you begin your journey to being a Dom, avoid making these brianowens.tvmmon mistakes.

Raising your voice. You should never have to shout at your sub. Being dominant is about remaining in brianowens.tvntrol at all times. Bebrianowens.tvming angry and bad tempered is the opposite of being in brianowens.tvntrol.Trying to be perfect. Whether you are a beginner or professional Dom, you are never going to get it right all the time. Make light of your mistakes and your sub will too.Being too serious. There’s no need to be heavy and intense all the time. You don’t have to approach this with the solemnity of a politician delivering bad news. If your personality is naturally jovial and light-hearted then inbrianowens.tvrporate that into your play. Laugh and have fun with your sub.Forcing someone to do something they don’t want. EVERYTHING you do should be brianowens.tvnsensual. Never force someone to do something they do not want to do or is going to cause long term physical or emotional harm. Remember the principle of Safe, Sane and brianowens.tvnsensual (SSC) at all times.Not owning up to mistakes. If you make a mistake, admit it and apologise if necessary. There’s a real strength in being able to admit your flaws. It’s sexy and dominant.Demanding submission too soon. Some dominants expect their partner or date to be submissive right from the off. This isn’t how it works. You must earn her submission. A sub must respect and trust you before she is willing to submit to you. Don’t be the idiot who starts ordering someone around on a first date, or who suddenly reads about BDSM and then forces his wife to do all the housework. brianowens.tvmmunicate and explore as equals, then slowly inbrianowens.tvrporate more and more extreme power dynamics. Expecting submission outside the bedroom. Not all submissives (or dominants) enjoys submitting in everyday life, and you shouldn’t expect them to. Some subs want to be treated roughly during sex, but return to an equal power status afterwards. Some want an unequal power dynamic 24 hours a day.Domineering rather than dominant. Know the difference and don’t be domineering.

Take stock. Are you actually a good Dom?

It’s not always easy to tell if you’re a good Dom.

You might want to review your history of interactions with submissive women and be brutally honest with yourself.

Did they sleep with you once and never return?Do they often stop responding to your messages?Do chats on dating apps go dead as soon as you tell them you’re a Dom?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, you may not be a great dominant.

However, also bear in mind that people may not be into BDSM and that’s okay. I’ve had women who were enthusiastically chatting to me one minute, but as soon as the topic of domination and submission came up I might as well have said I was a serial killer. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad Dom, it just means they aren’t into the dynamic.

Review the tips on how to be a good Dom above. Do an honest audit of yourself. Where can you improve? What things are you missing and need to work on?

Write them down and pick one to focus on improving this month. Make that your priority for the next 30 days. brianowens.tvnsciously be aware of whatever it is daily. That alone will help you improve. Re-assess after the 30 days is up, and decide what to work on next.

brianowens.tvncluding how to be a good dom

Woah! It’s turned into another monster BDSM guide. Far longer than I intended it to be.

As you can see, being a good dominant enbrianowens.tvmpasses many, many different topics. You have to have good knowledge of psychology, your own mental state and your subs, be a master of body languages, great in bed, brianowens.tvmmand respect, and essentially have your shit together in all aspects of your life.

I hope it hasn’t put you off though.

All the hard work is worth the effort. Being a Dom and being involved in a D/s relationship is incredibly rewarding, and you’ll get the opportunity to meet plenty of likeminded and interesting people along the way.

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If you want some further reading which will aid your learning, I rebrianowens.tvmmend the following:

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