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Think about this.
If you could name one thing that every talk show host has in common, what would it be?
If you said “an outgoing personality”, you’re right, but it’snot what we’re getting at.
It’s that they all use question cards (also known as “prompter” cards).
No matter how outgoing or experienced you are at meeting new people, everyone runs out of topics to talk about from time to time.
That’s why having a list of backup questions (and removing “the filter“) is so important.
The same applies when you’re speaking with a girl you’re interested in.
Having a unique set of questions in your conversational arsenal will catapult your attractiveness in the eyes of every girl you engage with.
Because the girl will INSTANTLY consider you to be a whole lot more interesting than every “so, do you come here often?” or “gee, how’s this weather?” guy (and there are a lot of them, trust us).
Asking good questions will make you more interesting.
Girls are attracted to interesting guys.
Romance, listening skills, and humor are all highly attractive qualities to women, and you can convey these traits to her with questions.
But remember guys:
You also want to mix in a healthy dose of statements and stories so you’re sharing your ownexperiences as well.
You don’t want the conversation to come across like an interview because that would be unnatural and awkward.
To help you along today, we’ve put together the essential list of questions to ask a girl.
We’re confident that even if you can simply memorizea handful of these and apply them to your daily conversations, you will see a massive improvement in the quality of your interactions with women.
Top 21 Questions to Ask a Girl You Like
If you’re going to memorize one list of questions, make it this one.
These are our tried and tested best questions to ask a girl.
1. What are you most passionate about right now?
Have you ever been chatting with someone and you mention something that makes their entire face light up with excitement?
Chances are you’ve stumbled upon a topic they’re passionate about. People love talking about their passions. If you’re the one who gets her talking about the things she’s most excited about, she’ll always associate those positive feelings with you.
And you don’t need me to tell you why that’s a good thing, right?
2. If you could go back five years, what would you change about your future?
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. – Søren Kierkegaard
I like this question because it lets you know how much she dwells on the past.
3. Have you traveled much (or do you want to)?
This is a great question for two reasons:
You’ll know how to steer your future conversations with her. If you’re both well-traveled, you’ve instantly got a goldmine of topics to draw from. If she hasn’t traveled much, but she wants to, then you can be her very own international man of mystery. If she’s not a fan, then reconsider talking any further about travel.
4. What’s your biggest deal-breaker in a relationship?
Is her ultimate deal-breaker something you agree with? This question also raises the idea in her head about what it’d be like to be in a relationship with you.
Further Reading: How to Tell if a Girl Likes You: 13 Surefire Signs
I think this is a good time to to mention this. The key to creating powerful connections with women is to attract them without faking behavior, lying, or pretending to be someone else.
In short, you need stop acting like an attractive man and become one. To do this, you need to learn to be vulnerable, honest, and to set boundaries.
The book that completely changed my life by driving this home is Models by Mark Manson:
What I like most is that it’s based on scientific research and it’s completely different to so many other dating books out there for men. It’s not about “picking up”. And it’s not about treating women as exploitable objects.
It’s for real men who are ready to cut the games and project their honest and authentic selves.
Models should be required reading for all men. I know I wish I had of read it when I was straight out of high school.
5. What was the last crazy adventure you went on?
Want to know how much of a thrill-seeker she is? Ask this question.
The more adventurous she is, the more direct you can be in your conversation and the quicker you can escalate your relationship. On the flip side, if she’s more conservative, you’ll want to take things slower.
6. What’s your favorite time of year and why?
This helps you find common ground and brings you closer through understanding her better.
It also helps you weave in some playful teasing later if she complains about being hot or cold.
what you want to do forever?
One word—ambition. If she’s content with her average 9-5 job, it’s probably best to cool it on the empire-building chat.
Conversely, if she has dreams of curing cancer, don’t expect her to be attracted to you if your ambitions don’t go beyond beating that next level in Halo.
8. What was the best thing about where you grew up?
This is an excellent general question to build comfort with her.
If she’d like a family of her own someday, it could also give you some insight into what kind of place she’d like to raise it.
9. What would you do tomorrow if it were your last day on Earth?
This is a fun question. You’ll find out what’s at the very top of her bucket list.
Who knows, maybe you could be the guy that could make it happen for her?
10. What do you like most about yourself?
Be careful with this one, you need to time it right so you don’t put her on the spot.
This helps you understand her core values and how comfortable she is talking positively about herself.Be sure to offer the same up for her because this is a vulnerable share.
11. What’s your favorite movie of all time?
Building a connection with a woman includes getting to know her interests. And let’s be real, almost everyone watches movies.
I like to throw this one in as a lighter question to switch things up from a serious topic that’s run its course.
12. What are you most proud of?
The answer to this question will tell you what has been the most important moment in her life to date. This is a great time to share how you relate to it (if you can).
13. Do you have any secret talents?
The more things you can learn about her that others don’t know, the closer she’ll feel to you.
14. What is your wildest fantasy?
This is a great flirty question. It builds sexual tension and uncovers many fun roleplay scenarios for you to explore with her.
15. Is there something that you used to do that you loved, but you’ve now stopped doing?
I love asking people this question (yes, not even just girls) because you can relight the fire under someone’s interest or hobby that they may have forgotten about or let slip away.
Also, if she picks that thing up again, she’ll always remember you whenever she does it.
16. What were you like as a kid?
Was she a bookworm? Cheerleader? Total jerk?
Her answer can lead you in so many directions for a fun conversation. Would she have been your nemesis? Tease her about it.
17. What’s the most valuable thing in your life?
You’ll learn what she values most in the world. While you don’t want to judge her entire character based on one question, if it’s a physical item then you know she may be more materialistic than other girls.
If it’s her cat, then you know she’s a huge animal lover. You get the idea.
18. What’s your idea of a perfect date?
This one’s all about putting your double agent hat on. Her answer to this can help you guide the dates you plan with her.
Don’t literally plan the exact date she mentions the next time you hang out, as that’s way too obvious. But if she says a picnic in the park, maybe keep skydiving in your back pocket for now.
19. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?
I like this question for a few reasons:
You’ll probably learn a new piece of advice that may prove valuable to your own life; andIt gives you some insight into how thoughtful she is and how willing she is to open herself up to advice from others.
20. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Where you live plays a huge role in the life you lead. Her answer to this question will help you understand how happy she is with where she lives right now, as well as her ideal type of place to be.
Does it marry up with yours? Be sure to share your own. Talking about the future with a girl forces her to envisage you being in her future. Cool trick, right?
21. How do you think your closest friends would describe you?
This helps you get a feel for the role she plays in her closest friendship circle and her perception of her own personality.